Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Beyond Brave
When i read this story Bethany is a 13 year old champion surfer who was scared of nothing. Until, one day when she was lying on her board with her dad Holt and sister Alana waiting for a wave and 7:30 passed out of nowhere a tiger shark came out of the water and grabbed hold of Bethany's left arm with its enormous jaws. Bethany was fighting with her life the shark let go. When Bethany looked down she saw that the water was red from all of her blood and her arm.
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Read your second sentence aloud and try to find a way to organize it differently. It is difficult to follow your meaning in such a long sentence :)
ReplyDeleteAlso, capitalize your i in the first sentence.
Finally, have you ever been in a situation where you had to overcome obstacles? I would love to read more about your connections to this story.